A couple of weeks ago the New York Times published research regarding marriages that I found very interesting. I'm clearly not the only one because it quickly rose to the top of the Most Emailed Stories list.
“New research shows that how thoughtfully couples make decisions can have a lasting effect on the quality of their romantic relationships. Couples who are decisive before marriage — intentionally defining their relationships, living together and planning a wedding — appear to have better marriages than couples who simply let inertia carry them through major transitions.”
Surprising no one, I'm a pretty decisive person. I made the decision pretty soon after I started dating Nicholas that he was the one with which I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Lucky for me, the feeling was mutual and Nicholas is basically a serial monogamist. I decided when I wanted a fraternity lavalier. I decided when I wanted to get married.
In fact, even the decision to have a big wedding apparently worked in our favor:
“In the study, having a big wedding also was related to a stronger marriage. Not everyone can afford a large wedding, of course, but the finding held even after the researchers controlled for differences in income.
It may be that couples who plan big weddings have more family support and friendships, both of which are good for a marriage. But the discussions and decision-making that go into planning such a large event also may be a sign that the couple has made conscious decisions about the relationship.”
The article goes on to explain other ways decisiveness in marriage leads to long-term benefits. In a nut shell, it basically confirmed all of my major life decisions!
So, obviously, I'm predisposed to find the findings interesting and applicable but I really want to know what all of you think.
Were you decisive in defining your relationship? Do you think it helped your relationship long term?
